I feel terrible. Last night, I knowingly went out with for a few drinks with some ex-co-workers, whom I haven't seen in ages. It turns out that two of the guys who showed up, I had at one time kissed. I'm also really honest with my boyfriend. I tell him everything, and he knows about those two instances. I don't know where my fault lies heavier: always telling my boyfriend the truth, or deciding to go out with old friends who I've made out with. Needless to say, he put two and two t...

And so it continues... I'm sick of hearing myself talk about it. My friends are sick of my crying wolf everytime I say I don't want to be in this relationship. This is partly the reason why I'm writing here because I need to let my frustrations out somewhere. But this is all my one-sided look at how things are, so it's not the complete truth. I don't mean for this to be enjoyable reading for anyone, because it annoys even me. So I'm reading this relationship book. It's like a diagnos...

I'm trying to decide if I'm being completely unreasonable. I don't like gambling. I can condone it as a form of entertainment, but something about all that money just seems wrong to me. Now, my boyfriend is heading off to the casino. He's not a big gambler, and he's only gambled a few times in five years. I know he's doing this just to make a couple of bucks, but I don't approve of it. He's not going for 'fun'. I'm not going to change what I think, but I wonder if I'm being too much...

This is turning out to be the journal of a fraidy cat. Today, there was a career fair for writers at school. It's actually going on right now: publishers, writers, associations. I thought, neat, I can go and ask questions to get a better idea of what the industry's like. So I get ready to go, read over the questions I prepared and print off a couple resumes on pretty paper, just in case. What happens? I walk in, and walk right out. A wave of ill-feeling just swept over me. I su...

Why do I stay? Why do I think I need him? This reads like some lame high school relationship. I never dreamed that I'd be in a relationship with someone who pisses me off to all hell all the time, and at the same time I feel like I can't leave. Why do I have to be such a woman? Women do this. They hope. He'll change. He won't screw up again. He promises. I always think it will get better. We can't even go grocery shopping without getting into a screaming argument. But I just lo...